Self-Discovery

Phil’s process of self-discovery contrasts to my own in the way it was brought about; but it also mirrors my self-discovery in the end result. Phil was a confident person whose peers questioned his attitude and behavior but not his ability. His process of self-discovery came about from his reliving the same day over and over. Knowing that the next day would be the same, Phil could afford to take extreme risks. After all, he had nothing to lose. Towards the end of the movie, Phil made a significant change in himself; from being a selfish person he became a caring and passionate man who helped the less fortune.

My own self-discovery, on the other hand, unfolded in a different way. To begin with, it was not my attitude and behavior which were questioned by my peers, but rather my aptitude and abilities. I did not have Phil’s advantage of reliving the same day over and over and, thus, could not see and learn from my previous mistakes. Instead, my self-discovery involved other people giving me support and positive feedback in my long journey to enlightenment. I came out of my cave with the help others gave me and that, in itself, changed my outlook of life. Today there are still those who doubt me, perhaps there always will be, but my reaction to what they say about me is now different. I now thrive on proving my naysayers wrong every chance I get. This much I know: I might not be the smartest or the fastest, but I am the most stubborn. And in that stubborness, I believe, lies my biggest strength, for it will not allow me to abandon my goals.
In the end, I believe, Phil and I are both better men because of our long journeys. In that respect, Phil’s self-discovery mirrors my own.

seeing the light

In Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave,” a prisoner, bonded with chains, escapes his bondage and slowly adjusts to the light until he sets himself free. Much like that prisoner, I too, had been bonded and in the shadows for most of my life. Since I was a child, people have always underestimated me as a person and have underestimated my capabilities. It has always been a struggle for me having to hear from people, mostly strangers, what I can and cannot do. Sometimes when you hear the same message over and over again, it becomes a reality and you start questioning yourself, losing your self-confidence and, ultimately, lowering your goals in life. I’ve been told from childhood into adulthood that I’m not smart enough, not strong enough, not fast enough; that I’m just a member of a worthless minority class and that I would not accomplish anything worthwhile in my life. My bondage came about from believing people’s negative opinions of me. During middle school and high school I let myself fall in the clutch of evil puppeteers and, as a result, my self-confidence was very low and I had no aspirations to do well in school. I now know that the negative comments I heard about me played a major role in my formative years . Psychologically, I was beaten so bad, that my only goal during those years was to survive my daily bondage during school hours and do my best to get home to my grandfather’s loving and supportive embrace.

I started to see the light towards the end of my high school years when, after a long and painful process of soul searching, I began to believe that I was capable of accomplishment. Of course, this did not happen overnight, nor did I see the light all by myself. Rather, I had a lot of help from people I met in high school and whom I now call my friends. These people were very patient with me as I built up my confidence one step at a time . They shone on me the bright light of their friendship and I was able to pull myself out of the dark and find the path to enlightenment.

I still find those who doubt me, but my approach to what they say about me is now different. Since my first day in college I’ve thrived on proving my naysayers wrong every day that passes by. This much I know: I might not be the smartest or the fastest, but I am the most stubborn. And there, I believe, lies my biggest strength, for I will not abandon my goals; I will not give up. I will show the world that I can do anything I propose to do and I will compensate with effort and hard work any of my shortcomings. I am greatly inspired by Einstein’s own definition of what is genius. He said: “Genius is ninety percent perspiration, and ten percent inspiration.” If that is marginally true, then, there is plenty of hope for me.